Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize