Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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