He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
