i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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