So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
