I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
organizing the empties. That sober.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
