I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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