I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
