in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
