how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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