the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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