Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
