FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
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She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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