You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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