There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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