Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize