You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
