if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm like, not good at living.
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