I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
