I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
