I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
