I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This house was built for laser tag.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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