He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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