I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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