she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
