She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
