Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
