Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
