just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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