This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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