She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
