So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
