Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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