Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
