You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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