Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
