well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
