whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize