if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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