I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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