I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
