u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
