operation harelip BJ is a go
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
