Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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