i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
3pm strippers are depressing
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize