I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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