I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm getting married
To pizza
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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