I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize