All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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