How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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