I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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