Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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