D3 body, D1 cock
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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