Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
