i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
