He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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