Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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