Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
