I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
