Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
