I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Are we still banned from the library?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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