Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
