I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize