Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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