I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize