She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
